Joy met the man that she at the time thought was her knight in shining armor when she was only a 16 year old High School student and he a 22 years old college graduate. They met at a family friends’ wedding reception that she attended with her parents.
“I was walking down the stairs and he was standing around with a couple of his friends when he saw me and motioned towards me. He asked me my name and I told him my Nigerian name. He showered me with numerous compliments and made me feel so important and beautiful. Nobody ever made me feel so special, and it was also the first time that any guy bluntly came to me to express his feelings without the interference of friends. This made me realize that he was not like any regular guy that I have ever met. I knew he was mature, so when I too wanted to present myself in a mature manner. I informed him that I was eighteen years old, openly flirted with him throughout the night, and gave him my number upon his request” Joy said.
After several phone conversations, Joy went on a couple of dates with the guy and eventually developed feelings that even she couldn't control. She fell in love with the guy and according to joy; he was in love with her too. So in love that when she told him her actual age, he didn't bulge. Their mutual relationship turned sexual after a couple of more dates. Joy lost her virginity to him and was devastated when she found out that she was pregnant.
“I didn't know what to do” Joy said sobbing. “I was only sixteen and I knew I couldn't keep the baby, so I discussed it with him, and we both decided that an abortion was best. I told my parents that I was going to stay at my best friend’s house that weekend and I went in for the procedure. It was the worst thing that I ever did, also the most painful. It took a lot for me to do it, but I just couldn't let my parents know.”
“After this, I went on the pill and was back to normal until my first semester in college when I realized that I was pregnant again. Again, I confided in my boyfriend and he told me an abortion was the best way to go. I let him know that I couldn't go through another one. I informed him that since he had a stable job, and since I was now eighteen, together we are capable of taking care of a baby. My optimism however did not faze him. He was ready for to take care of a baby and told me neither was I.”
“He reminded me of my legal status which meant that I really couldn't get a decent job to take care of both myself and a baby. I knew he was right, and telling my parents wasn't an option. It took me two of months to come to grounds with myself, and then, I had no choice at the time but to go through yet another painful abortion. I wasn't so lucky this time around however, and some remains of the baby were left inside of me. I bleed uncontrollably and was rushed to the ER. I later found out that my womb was perforated, and I will not be able to carry another baby.”
“I cried myself to sleep every night after that. When I explained the situation to my boyfriend, he was perplexed and told me he needed some time to think the whole thing through. Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months and I still did not hear from him. When I called his cell phone, I found out that he had switched his number, and now I am left alone in this lonely world by myself. I tell this story not because I want to get advice, or pity, but rather because I felt the need to tell my story. I tell my story to inform everyone out there that this is real and it does happen. I also tell my story because I cannot dig up enough courage to tell my parents, but I know they will read the story here, this is why I decided to share this here. I am sorry mommy and daddy” Joy said sadly.
TruthbeTold- Joy is not the only one who has faced such painful ordeal; there are numerous Joys out there that are facing similar situations. It takes a lot for someone to come out and tell such traumatic experience, so I want to thank Joy for sharing her story. I hope many learn from her situation and think twice before making such drastic choices. Please feel free to comment and give Joy any advice that you feel is appropriate.
Below are statistics of abortions in the United States from (http://www.abortionno.org/Resources/fastfacts.html)
Number of abortions per year: 1.37 Million
Number of abortions per day: Approximately 3,700
Who's having abortions (age)?
52% of women obtaining abortions in the U.S. are younger than 25: Women aged 20-24 obtain 32% of all abortions; Teenagers obtain 20% and girls under 15 account for 1.2%.
Who's having abortions (race)?
While white women obtain 60% of all abortions, their abortion rate is well below that of minority women. Black women are more than 3 times as likely as white women to have an abortion, and Hispanic women are roughly 2 times as likely.
Who's having abortions (marital status)?
64.4% of all abortions are performed on never-married women; Married women account for 18.4% of all abortions and divorced women obtain 9.4%.
Who's having abortions (religion)?
Women identifying themselves as Protestants obtain 37.4% of all abortions in the U.S.; Catholic women account for 31.3%, Jewish women account for 1.3%, and women with no religious affiliation obtain 23.7% of all abortions. 18% of all abortions are performed on women who identify themselves as "Born-again/Evangelical".
Who's having abortions (income)?
Women with family incomes less than $15,000 obtain 28.7% of all abortions; Women with family incomes between $15,000 and $29,999 obtain 19.5%; Women with family incomes between $30,000 and $59,999 obtain 38.0%; Women with family incomes over $60,000 obtain 13.8%.
Why women have abortions
1% of all abortions occur because of rape or incest; 6% of abortions occur because of potential health problems regarding either the mother or child, and 93% of all abortions occur for social reasons (i.e. the child is unwanted or inconvenient).
At what gestational ages are abortions performed:
52% of all abortions occur before the 9th week of pregnancy, 25% happen between the 9th & 10th week, 12% happen between the 11th and 12th week, 6% happen between the 13th & 15th week, 4% happen between the 16th & 20th week, and 1% of all abortions (16,450/yr.) happen after the 20th week of pregnancy.
Likelihood of abortion:
An estimated 43% of all women will have at least 1 abortion by the time they are 45 years old. 47% of all abortions are performed on women who have had at least one previous abortion.
Abortion coverage:
48% of all abortion facilities provide services after the 12th week of pregnancy. 9 in 10 managed care plans routinely cover abortion or provide limited coverage. About 14% of all abortions in the United States are paid for with public funds, virtually all of which are state funds. 16 states (CA, CT, HI, ED, IL, MA , MD, MD, MN, MT, NJ, NM, NY, OR, VT, WA and WV) pay for abortions for some poor women.
Number of abortions per year: 1.37 Million
Number of abortions per day: Approximately 3,700
Who's having abortions (age)?
52% of women obtaining abortions in the U.S. are younger than 25: Women aged 20-24 obtain 32% of all abortions; Teenagers obtain 20% and girls under 15 account for 1.2%.
Who's having abortions (race)?
While white women obtain 60% of all abortions, their abortion rate is well below that of minority women. Black women are more than 3 times as likely as white women to have an abortion, and Hispanic women are roughly 2 times as likely.
Who's having abortions (marital status)?
64.4% of all abortions are performed on never-married women; Married women account for 18.4% of all abortions and divorced women obtain 9.4%.
Who's having abortions (religion)?
Women identifying themselves as Protestants obtain 37.4% of all abortions in the U.S.; Catholic women account for 31.3%, Jewish women account for 1.3%, and women with no religious affiliation obtain 23.7% of all abortions. 18% of all abortions are performed on women who identify themselves as "Born-again/Evangelical".
Who's having abortions (income)?
Women with family incomes less than $15,000 obtain 28.7% of all abortions; Women with family incomes between $15,000 and $29,999 obtain 19.5%; Women with family incomes between $30,000 and $59,999 obtain 38.0%; Women with family incomes over $60,000 obtain 13.8%.
Why women have abortions
1% of all abortions occur because of rape or incest; 6% of abortions occur because of potential health problems regarding either the mother or child, and 93% of all abortions occur for social reasons (i.e. the child is unwanted or inconvenient).
At what gestational ages are abortions performed:
52% of all abortions occur before the 9th week of pregnancy, 25% happen between the 9th & 10th week, 12% happen between the 11th and 12th week, 6% happen between the 13th & 15th week, 4% happen between the 16th & 20th week, and 1% of all abortions (16,450/yr.) happen after the 20th week of pregnancy.
Likelihood of abortion:
An estimated 43% of all women will have at least 1 abortion by the time they are 45 years old. 47% of all abortions are performed on women who have had at least one previous abortion.
Abortion coverage:
48% of all abortion facilities provide services after the 12th week of pregnancy. 9 in 10 managed care plans routinely cover abortion or provide limited coverage. About 14% of all abortions in the United States are paid for with public funds, virtually all of which are state funds. 16 states (CA, CT, HI, ED, IL, MA , MD, MD, MN, MT, NJ, NM, NY, OR, VT, WA and WV) pay for abortions for some poor women.
Sad story. i mean wat advice can u give such? I Just pray that God gives you the strength to deal with it and to eventually tell your parents. You do not want to have them hear it from an outside source, its more respectful coming from u.
ReplyDeleteBtw, most guys r the devils advocate. P.S if u ain't ready to av a baby or you ain't mature enough...let the sleeping dog rest.